Do undergarments go missing about your house without explanation? I was worried there was a fairy with an underwear and sock fetish in my house for quite some time. Over the period of six weeks, my housemates would complain that they couldn’t find their grundies, or the washing machine must be eating one of each of their sweat socks. Even I had fallen victim, having misplaced my most comfortable bra, digging wildly through drawers in a futile quest on weekends.
It was one amusing evening, during a dinner party in our humble abode, when the mystery unravelled – the culprit was much closer to home.
Just before heading into the dining room to enjoy a three course meal I had lovingly prepared for a party of ten of our closest friends, in streaks our oldest pooch and protector, Bobby, with a lovely present… the missing bog-catchers! To my flatmates horror, (because they were his Y-fronts: not that he would admit) Bobby was thrashing and parading about with a proud find of the brightly coloured garment… complete with a hole already chewed through in a most inappropriate spot!
The little blighter had been stealing and stashing away items for weeks, and now with a captive audience, began to drag out and put his wares (well ours) on show! It was like having our own private viewing of a warped burlesque show. Thankfully all missing items were swiftly collected and securely binned, and the boys learnt a valuable lesson never to leave their clothes lying on the floor… pity I can’t apply the same logic to the toilet seat.
Needless to say my dinner parties always rank in the most popular. Although I still haven’t found the dog’s hidey-hole for all his collected treasures, and I am always keeping an eye out when we have guests praying that he won’t totter in with some lingerie hanging from his mouth. I’ve yet to decide if our dog is a pervert or an attention seeker – or possibly a mix of both.
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