Swapping high heels for gum boots
It’s weird how things play out – my mother passing away, getting made redundant, and a relationship ending. It has all led me to living in the Hinterland, overlooking the coast and following my passion: writing.
While I miss my mother terribly, at least one thing reminds me of her every day. I wear a piece of her jewellery daily to feel like she is still sharing this journey with me as I sit at the computer and wrestle with my conscious at the words appearing on my screen. It may sound strange, but with Mum gone, I’ve lost that little feeling of being safe forever, like when things got scary and bad, you could run home for a hug… now that it is no longer there it has changed my outlook – and my writing style. The material I turn out now has more of a contemporary feel. I’ve lost a touch of my Pollyanna-always-smiling positivity. And that’s not a bad thing. It has matured my writing.
The now ex-boyfriend… well that was a surprise ending. It nearly broke me in half. I was sure we were heading somewhere special, that I was doing everything he asked for – I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I miss holding his hand, feeling his hugs and the silly jokes he cracked. I never wanted to be anything less than perfect with him.
The feeling of being loved, of being something bigger than yourself gives you a safe space to write and spurns you on. And just like losing Mum, finding that space again has fallen on my shoulders. Now I find beauty in the little things: looking out the window at the birds, gazing at the mammoth scape of blue above, well you get the picture. Yes, I am sad the relationship is over, but the main thing that troubles me is that he never believed how truly gorgeous I thought he was, but I hope one day he knows just how awesome he is. I’m a big girl and can accept that all good things come to an end – and it’s usually to make room for even better things! J
Work I don’t miss so much. Maybe the great friends I met there, but being made redundant gave me the kick in the pants to write. And I’ve never been happier.
I had to think hard – do I get another job, or take this opportunity to follow my dreams? Well the dream won out (obviously). But it has an expiration date. I’ve given myself a year to accomplish the task of finishing a book and getting published. And now with two novels at the final editing stage I’m half way there… and it’s only April.
So with all this behind me, I’ve relocated from Melbourne to the Sunshine Coast, keen for the months of writing in tropical surrounds. But what I didn’t count on was nature…
It’s dark by 6pm. I mean inky black nothingness. No street lights, no ambient glow from the city. You have to feel your way through shrub and icky crawly-bitey things back inside. The night sky is amazing though. You can easily see three times as many stars! If it weren’t for the mosquitoes I’d be out there staring in the mysterious yonder every night.
Day time brings a plethora or annoyances: spiders, snakes, toads, bees, wasps, or a mist/fog during rainy days dulling visibility to mere metres. When I let my furbabies out for a run, or to do their ‘business’ I’m on high alert with my ‘snake-rake’ (to either brandish at a game reptile or hook my pooches away from danger).
It’s not all avid alertness all the time. I get to relax as well and take in ducks by the natural spring and parrots, kookaburras, butterflies, green tree frogs, while sucking in clean mountain air. It blows out cobwebs and really leaves me feeling revitalized. Where in the city I needed to travel about to find somewhere new to stimulate my senses, here I simply step out my front door.
And that’s the best thing! Yes, I can no longer wear my high heels and pop down to the shops for a cappuccino; but instead I can drink from the cup of the wilderness for inspiration – and right now that’s all I need to start filling my screen with words.
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