I’m so cold
Now I’m burning up
My head won’t stop pounding
I’m going to be sick
I’m gonna hurl
I’m about to vomit
If that nurse sticks me with another needle I’ll punch her in the face
I’m sick of feeling like a pincushion
My skin feels like bugs are crawling all over me
Go away
Please sit here, but don’t talk to me
Hold my hand
Puke rising
Why does that nurse have to wake me up, I’d just gotten to sleep
My pudding tastes like pennies
All my food tastes like pennies
Where did these bruises come from?
Technicolour yawn in the toilet bowl
Hot, cold
I love my nurse she makes me feel better, even when I’m mean to her
Don’t stick me with that needle!
Ulcers in my mouth
My poop burns
Why do I spend so much time in the bathroom?
My brain doesn’t work all the…. Who are you?
What was I saying?
I love flowers
The smell is too strong, it’s making me sick
My skin feels like its crawling with spiders
If I remain perfectly still my head doesn’t hurt so much and I don’t feel dizzy
I don’t want to cry anymore
I no longer reply to “how are you feeling…” it’s obvious how I’m feeling
Some of my friends are scared to come and see me
Why are you acting so weird?
I was reading this book and-
I think I’ve ripped a layer of my oesophagus off from throwing up so much
Is that MY hair?!
I don’t want to look in the mirror anymore
Can we please ignore the fact I have cancer and just have a normal day?
I’m sick of watching television
It’s funny how everyone speaks in hushed tones like they might break you if they spoke normally
Will I ever stop throwing up?
Of course I’m grumpy, my body is betraying me
My gums are bleeding again
My bones ache
This is one hell of a hangover
Wow I’ve lost so much weight
Just get through the next ten seconds
Ten seconds more
I’m scared
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I don’t have cancer but I can relate to a lot of that. I’ve had an autoimmune disease since I was 5 the feeling of being a pin cushion, my body betraying me, the way people change around you once they know… It’s tough. 😔
Not the most fun experience and I’m mostly all about being positive and looking to the future, but I felt the need to express some in-your-face feelings after I had a few friends minimise my battles. It’s always fun to vent your anger in writing/poetry… it’s like making diamonds. On a side note, Emla cream has been my best friend for those needles 😉 Hugs and good vibes for you!
I hear that! I, luckily, don’t have friends that minimize my disease. They either treat me with kid gloves or ignore it all together. I’m not sure which is worse. 🤷🏻♀️
Emla cream, huh? Never heard of it but I’ll be looking it up! I have one arm that’s so scarred up that it’s next to impossible to get a good stick. The other one is holding out but I have to get a nurse with some experience.
And same to you! 💜 I’ll keep you in my thoughts.