I’d love to have a boyfriend… but I’m too fat right now.

I'm too fat right now Pic 01 by Casey Carlisle.jpg

A writer can live a very sedentary life, and because of that, the weight can sneak on if you are not vigilant… a little bit here, a little bit there – no fuss. Until one day when you can no longer buckle your jeans or get your favourite dress over your thighs. That’s the point where you feel like you’ve been slapped in the face, and it makes you feel ugly.

Damn girl – why you eat so many cookies at the computer!?

Now I’m not one to weight shame anyone. I think my body is beautiful. But when nothing in your wardrobe sits right, and movement feels a little off, it’s hard to feel confident. There’s that little voice in the back of your mind telling you at you are not desirable, that people are going to look at you and quickly turn their head away in distaste.

Where the hell does that come from?

Well… me!

I'm too fat right now Pic 02 by Casey CarlisleMy clothes don’t fit – buy new clothes, shopping is always fun. Or hey, get a bit fitter… get out, walk, jump on the treadmill. Start cleaning up your diet, eat real food by eliminating processed food or anything that comes in a packet.

So that’s my new goal over the next few months – to love myself and treat my body with the respect it deserves.

This is not measured in what number is on the scales, or on my dress size. It’s measured in how I feel when I wake up, when I walk out the door. I want that “Hey there world, I’m here!” feeling back.

I’m at the age where a part of the weight gain is hormonal, so ideals of a stick thin body shape I had in my twenties is totally unrealistic. I actually like having some curves.

This stigma of weight and body shape hasn’t come from other girls, magazines and the entertainment industry. It’s come from how I feel about myself – we are all our own worst critics. So, like the writer I am, I’m changing the narrative. Instead of saying I feel fat or ugly, or nothing looks right; I’m going to re-invent myself right at that point in time to find out what would make me feel better – and do it1 Find clothes that are more flattering, add some bling, accentuate my better assets. Skip the chocolate biscuit. Spend 20 minutes walking… it’s not about making myself look pretty for someone else, it’s about being comfortable and confident about myself.

I'm too fat right now Pic 04 by Casey CarlisleBecause, in all honesty if my dream guy (or girl) came up to me and asked me out right now, I’d start a mental list of all the things that are wrong with me that I need to hide – and that is not healthy!

So I’m stopping that destructive thought pattern. I’m going to start being the person I want to be. You don’t need validation from others, or have a cutie pie on your arm to be attractive. Beauty comes from the confidence to be yourself.



That’s how I’m going to lose weight – by shedding the negativity.

And remember the quality that most people find attractive is a smile 😀




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