No nudes at work.

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I swear a Google internet search is out to embarrass the heck out of me at times. Seriously, is there a little man at the other end of the line laughing his guts out as he slips inappropriate content into my search results? I like to hunt down images to include in my storyboards for works in progress. It helps flesh out the world building and characters for me.

Parental controls sometimes block content that I feel doesn’t need to be blocked. And, I’m not searching outright for adult material, so I am always surprised when confronting images pop up in my search results.

But recently I’ve been noticing a trend where pornographic content is increasingly slipping into the results. Yesterday I typed in “cow” and “farm” and about halfway down the page a number of full-frontal images of couples ‘doing it’ were on display. Even though I work in an office all alone, I quickly glanced behind me in shame. The same happened when I’ve typed in “romance” and “flowers.” What tha! I once got images of a girl performing fellatio after typing “buttons.” It was worse when I accidently typed in “drunk girl” into the search bar instead of in my document… my eyes just about fell out of my skull.

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I know I’m a little bit of a prude. But I can handle some titillation – I mean I’m an adult. I’ve seen things. But when you’re in the middle of typing out an article, or adding to that manuscript, and you’re getting a little graphic support and these explicit images jump out at you… well it’s unexpected. Shocking.

Needless to say, I’ve reviewed my parental controls a number of times, but something always manages to slip by every now and then.

It’s amusing at how the most random, unconnected phrase will result in some pornographic picture popping up in the search results.

I remember in one of my previous jobs in an open office plan. There were close to 80 of us on one floor at workstations, no walls. No partitions. It was easy to glance up at any given time and peruse many monitors. I used to get a lot of PowerPoint presentations to whip up, and doing image searches turned into a harrowing experience. Searching for images when the boss walks by and there’s a female presenting her rear like a baboon, pants down, facial expression like it was some kind of accident she was caught in such a compromising condition… yikes!

It is funny, almost slapstick, if you can roll with the punches and have a sense of humour. But there are some workplaces where something like this could have you hauled in front of Human Resources.

I dare not imagine what images would scroll up if I actually typed in something obviously graphic… I might have to wash out my eyeballs, or lose my lunch. I’m happy in my rainbows, unicorns and puppies bubble of positivity when I’m writing. Disturbing images give me a headache and have me wondering what kind of people are out there. Great ideas for horror or psychological thrillers when you’re building an antagonist. But I don’t need to be barraged by graphic content on a daily basis at work.

It’s not the search engines fault – if you do a bit of I.T. sleuthing, these images are being tagged with more and more mundane words in ways to trap a browser into visiting their website. It’s all about directing internet traffic. An unfortunate side of the internet – sprukers for dark net. I guess it’s to be expected. At your computer you can be exposed to the entire planet, both good and bad. It’s up to us to tailor what gets to pop up on our screen. And like story writing, those computer skills develop over time – or you simply develop a thick skin. Become desensitized and no longer ‘see’ that type of content.

I get a little worried about what our children get exposed to, and it reminds me to always be vigilant and monitor kids internet activity. Educate them about right and wrong and how to navigate those tricky situations online.  It’s better to be informed than ignorant I say.

Because isn’t it better to laugh about some random picture of a man dressed in leather with a gasmask on in the results when you type in “puppies” than start freaking out about the state of the worlds social morals?

 

What kind of random results have you gotten from an internet search that cause you to turn red?

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© Casey Carlisle 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Culture of ME

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What is happening to the representation of girls in pop culture?

I was conducting a foray into the upcoming trends in pop culture because I like the content I’m writing about in my YA novels to connect and resonate with their audience. Which is a bit of an oxymoron in this case, because from what I was exposed to, books are the last thing on this demographic’s mind. Yes, this is a bit of a generalisation, but when I caught shows like Promposal and My Sweet Sixteen on MTV, I was disgusted with the amount of gratuitous wealth, and the focus of the stories being young girls who basically labelled themselves as princesses and idols with little moral substance. Even some of the upcoming Youtubers fall into this privileged background, their channels are either revolved around themselves, or what their money can buy. I’m all about self-confidence and self-empowerment – but much of this came off as selfish.

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It had me extremely worried about the future of the human race, the ecology of the planet, and as much as I write books for myself and to create something I would like to read – will there really be a market for my babies once they are ready to hit the shelves?

Every time the star of the episode or webcast opened his/her mouth, all I could hear coming out is “Me, me, me, me, me, me. Look at me.” I was hoping that I would witness some act of kindness towards their friends, some sacrifice they would make for someone less fortunate… I guess the writer in me is used to protagonists having to struggle through hardship to obtain a goal, where these lifestyle and reality shows are only encouraging a culture of mirror gazing and low self-worth. Youtube videos are turning into infomercials, rants and whines, and more I’m beautiful, I’m a star. Worship me.

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Maybe I’m just seeing the bottom end of the bell curve. The ignorance of youth. The vapid and soulless content. With technology and trends today, we see a lot of low-budget quality hitting our screens. And with immature content creators having a narrow view of the world, who are yet to find themselves, should we really be letting them broadcast this experimentation to the wider public? At least there is a lot more to choose from now, and I can speak up against all that I find abhorrent with the click of my finger in search of something more entertaining, or more educational, or more uplifting. Because pop culture can be fun! It can be hilarious and entertaining.

I could sound like some bitter old person standing out front of a house screeching and the neighbourhood children to “Get off my lawn!” After witnessing some of the low-brow productions, I’d love to launch a campaign that says, “Get some substance.” But that’s just me having a rant. Everyone is free to grow and experience the world, freedom of speech. Let’s hope some of them get exposure to wider issues and not being able to get a helicopter drop them off at the party is the biggest drama on the planet.

I realise that much of the content I’m talking about is marketed towards the 12-18 age bracket, or produced by kids of the same age on laptops and iphones. They have yet to gain perspective outside of their bedroom walls and clique at school. They have a diet of glossy magazines, talent reality shows, and famous Youtubers bringing in the big dollars. Is it any wonder that they think such notoriety is easily obtained? The hours (or years) of hard work and commitment behind the scenes has been left out of the narrative. So too has the fact that those who this next generation are trying to emulate are one in a million, trail blazers, and have built a business off of what they see. It takes smarts, support, and a lot of effort to get there. Networking. Educating themselves… well you get the picture.

So when I see the amount of money being thrown about on vanity, I can’t help but wonder if they could donate to the homeless, start their own business and offer employment to someone supporting a family, or even at least to stop and think about something else other than themselves. Though I must admit, these types of girls portrayed on the screen are the perfect antagonists. So maybe I should stop the criticism and use their traits for villains and bullies in my writing. In the ‘80’s we saw very stereotyped characters dominate pop culture, and while now there is a lot more complexity and diversity out there, we are starting to see a new wave of two-dimensional characters emerge in our media. Mass Market goods.

The Culture of ME Pic 02 by Casey CarlisleLuckily, many of the young adults I’ve chatted to about this trend view it as idiotic comedy, much in the vein of Jackass, mindless viewing ready to be picked apart and ridiculed. Why applaud this critical viewing, I wonder if is not supporting a culture of “reading” or “throwing shade” because it populates a negativity. Bring back the Spice Girls I say, I want fun, bright colours, a bit of cheekiness and lots of girl power.

 

 

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© Casey Carlisle 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

How do you read so many books?

A question I get asked a lot, but in truth, I could be reading much more.

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I had a little think about the secret to roaring through that TBR pile… and here’s the answer:

How do you read so many books Pic 02 by Casey CarlisleThe simplest answer is mood reading. I only ever pick up books that I get excited about after reading the blurb, that I am keen to crack the cover and start to discover the world within. If after a short way in, my attention wains, I put it back on the shelf for another time.

How do you read so many books Pic 03 by Casey CarlisleAnother aspect is that I read about an hour every day. It’s a part of my routine. At the end of the day, curled up in bed, reading for a while helps calm my mind so I can relax into sleep. I used to suffer insomnia terribly, but reading has helped immensely. Sometimes it can work against me, especially if the novel is enthralling… but that only adds to the excitement. Like I’m being naughty staying up late to read a book. Crap – I’m such a nerd.

Long row of colorful library books isolated on white backgroundI vary the genre as well. A diet of only romance or YA will eventually lead to becoming bored. You’ve read it all before… So I mix it up as much as I can. Heck I’ve even read a textbook.

 

Reading Kindle on a trainWhen I lived in the city, I was always that girl on the train or tram with her head in a book – that’s an extra hour or more a day to indulge in my favourite past time. At the airport, at the dentist or doctors waiting room, I don’t miss an opportunity when some downtime presents itself… without being antisocial.

How do you read so many books Pic 06 by Casey CarlisleThere is always a book in my handbag. And if by some random momentary lapse I forget to slip it in as I leave the house, there are many titles to choose from on my phone e-reader.

I’m not lying about all day, every day with my nose between the pages. I have a life to live too. Whenever someone comments at the volume of novels I get through, they seriously think I’m a lady of leisure, sipping tea on the couch reading romance novels… gag me that’s infuriating. I can’t believe there is still a stigma that reading equals lazy, and no life goals. We read to learn, to escape, to be entertained.

What are your best reading habits?

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© Casey Carlisle 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Things I do as a writer that save time.

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A comical look at things I’ve noticed – priorities and habits that have changed since I’ve embraced becoming a full-time writer which free up time to follow my favoured craft…

Things I do as an Author Pic 01 by Casey CarlisleI don’t waste time putting on a face full of make-up – sometimes I don’t even brush my hair. Most mornings, it’s a shower, throw on some comfortable clothes and sneakers, and then straight to the keyboard. No longer am I in tailored work attire and high heels, coiffed to perfection. I relax in my stretched out jeans and coffee mug permanently sitting on my right hand side. Every day is casual Friday!

Things I do as an Author Pic 02 by Casey CarlisleI never have to travel far either. Some very rare days, I’ll write right there in bed on my lap top! No long hours stuck in traffic or squeezed in on public transport wondering who is responsible for that odorous smell or dodging that one man who is staring at you in a completely inappropriate way unabashedly.

Things I do as an Author Pic 03 by Casey CarlisleI don’t get interrupted by people walking past, or popping their head into my office. I’m not continually putting out conceptual fires or managing clashing personalities. I have complete control over my work environment. I can unplug the phone and internet if I so desire. Or lament in a busy coffee shop with the soundtrack of gossip and top 40 pop hits – it’s whatever takes my fancy. I can say I LOVE no distractions! Especially when that muse whacks you upside the head with an anvil and you just have to get everything down on paper as quickly as you can.

 

Things I do as an Author Pic 04 by Casey CarlisleI get to pick my hours – I can plan my writing around social visits or events. Some days I write better first thing in the morning, others in the evening hours… just as long as I write every day! I have a pretty much set schedule, but on those days when you are feeling shackled in, it is great to scream out the window and do what the heck you want. I could never have done that in an office or classroom. That adaptability definitely helps increase my productive hours writing.

Things I do as an Author Pic 05 by Casey CarlisleI get to leave my desk in a mess – if I’m in a particular point in a piece of writing and need to call it quits for a day, I can leave my desk in a state of what may look like disarray, but everything is set up for ease of access to information. I can simply walk away and come back the next morning and start right off at the point I left the day before. I never have to worry about things being moved, the cleaner disrupting my files. This comes in handy when I nearing the end of writing a first draft or going through edits. I can be a messy worker in those times.

Things I do as an Author Pic 06 by Casey CarlisleLunch can be a quick trip to the kitchen or microwave. I no longer need to go find a good coffee shop, stand in line and find the perfect seat to consume said lunch – plus eating in public, and consuming food with onion, tuna and other odorous foodstuffs were always off the menu in consideration of my workmates. Now I can stick the place up to my heart’s desire!

Things I do as an Author Pic 07 by Casey CarlisleEvery day is take your pet to work day! It has been proven that having a four-legged companion can increase your productivity and lower your blood pressure – and I intend to embrace that whole-heartedly!

 

 

Things I do as an Author Pic 08 by Casey CarlisleIf you want to quickly google something completely unrelated to what you’re working on, you can without the internet Nazi’s scrutinizing your browser history (or how much time you spend watching cat videos.) So no time is waisted continually glancing over your shoulder to see if anyone can see what is on your screen, and then madly running through folders to empty your temporary folders… not that I ever indulged of ‘naughty’ internet activity at work ;p

I miss the social interaction and the regular stable pay check, but working as a writer from home, or wherever I carry my laptop definitely has many rewards.

To all you wordplayers out there – Happy writing!

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© Casey Carlisle 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Albinos and all their stuff

What’s the most common question I get asked as a writer?

How do you remember all this stuff?

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It’s usually in awe at the wall of folders I have from my works in progress. I keep a folder on my desktop of ideas for novels, characters, scenes… but when I get something more developed, a rough plot, a cast, a more definite outline… along with pages of writing, either the beginning, or a few key scenes – it gets a ring binder and a place on my shelf. I keep all my notes in there, I design a cover and spine. That way my idea feels real. And when it comes time to do some writing on said project, I can pull out the folder and everything I need is contained within.

And when you have over 40 titles on the shelf you find people staring at them wide eyes and asking you – how do you remember all this stuff? How do you keep the characters straight in your head and not mix the books up?

My answer is always very simple. I remember all my friends, and family. I know where they live, I have an idea of their wants and desires, what they look like, their little personality traits and favourite sayings… so it’s just like that. The books and characters within are the same as friends and family. In fact, I probably spend more time with my fictional family, because they live in my head more prominently, I go on adventures with them. We have conversations. They might change or grow up even before I put words on paper.

The human brain has such a capacity for learning and remembering, why does it always seem like a shocking feat to remember the books I’m writing – or even the books I’ve read?

I guess for someone who is not in the habit of writing books, or reading a lot for that matter, easy recollection of fictional facts seems almost like science fiction. Like you are some sort of genius. So when they get over the realisation that I’m not hiding away in a dark room with over a dozen cats writing erotic fiction for my own fancy, and actually see the scope and effort I put in, something grinds and crunches in their heads that I must be the re-incarnation of Albert Einstein himself.

How does their brain take the leap from some mousey, unattractive shut-in with sexually deviant tendencies to a crazy haired genius after entering my office? Surely there is a somewhat more modest middle ground?

Albinoes and their stuff Pic 02 by Casey Carlisle.jpgI think writers are much like albino animals – rarely seen in the wild, perceived as odd, weird, or magical, but on the whole, (apart from the propensity to get sunburn) no different to the regular coloured masses. I’m beginning to learn that the general public’s assumptions of what a writer is, is so vastly different to what I actually do. It’s up there with astronaut or vascular surgeon – it sounds impressive but we don’t know the ins and outs of what they actually do every day. (Not that being a writer is as important as an astronaut or a vascular surgeon – just that they are job titles not many know details about) I’m frequently launching into the mechanics of writhing and the publishing world for friends and family. Their notions that I sit at my computer for a few weeks, churn out a novel and then send if off into the ether to be transformed into a book on the shelves of stores is completely naive.

I spend a lot of time writing, and with the characters, worlds, and story acrs that I write; so why wouldn’t I know them by heart? If I was in any other occupation, wouldn’t I know all the intricacies of that job too?

So, I guess I have to embrace being some albino animal as well – though it’s not too much of a stretch having pale skin, red hair and freckles – where people come and stare in stack-jawed intensity when they discover what it is I really do on occasion. But on the most part, I just get on with it.

Though I always get surprised at some of the frequently asked questions – I mean, if they thought about it, even only fleetingly, the answer is so obvious I may as well slap them in the face with a rubber chicken…

In fact, I may do just that.

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© Casey Carlisle 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Trigger Warnings for me as a reader

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Things that make me want to vomit, scream or pitch a novel out the window…

I tend to shy away from content I know that will freak me out or cause mental anguish – I read to be entertained, to escape and sometimes to learn. It’s only on rare occasions I read to be challenged.

So some of the trigger warnings that I’ve found which send a book plummeting in my ratings include:

Trigger warnings Pic 11 by Casey CarlisleI know I’m a bit of a prude. That’s just how I am. And I don’t mind a bit of titillation – and there are times I pick up an erotic title for a bit of a change to my normal reading habits. But I like my erogenous encounters to mean something, to have a point to make within the plot. Pages and pages of banging bodies in different positions with no story is porn. Flashy, pointless and unsatisfying. It gets the same reaction I have with watching porn – I feel violated, objectified, and my skin feels itchy and dirty. If there is no emotional connection to the characters and plot it just feels wrong. For me. If that is something that you enjoy reading, I say wave that flag from the highest mountain… but it’s a big no-no for me. I’ll squirm, eye-roll and eventually put the book down. When did I turn into an old Nun?

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Trigger warnings Pic 12 by Casey Carlisle– if the ‘hook’ on the back cover does not hint at some emotional connection to the main character, or at least a point of interest, I’m not going to buy it. Nine out of ten times it has proven right that a terrible blurb has meant the story was lacking in some way.

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Trigger warnings Pic 13 by Casey CarlisleI’m no atheist or anything, but when I’m reading a book, I don’t want to feel like the author is shoving his or her spiritual beliefs down my throat. With fantasy books, we get magic systems, mythology and never do those aspects of the narrative feel like they are imposing on me as a reader. But for some reason when it comes to religion, many of the novels I read are so heavy with worship and forced opinion, I can feel the vomit gurgling in the back of my throat. It’s a sensitive topic to talk about, but I feel a fictional story should be balanced and not overshadowed by the authors personal beliefs. I feel a great author will not isolate their audience.

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Trigger warnings Pic 14 by Casey CarlisleSometimes they work if the author is great, but on the most part, I’ll skim over, or simply refuse to finish if it is littered with unoriginal content. The main reason for reading about characters is to walk in their shoes, experience something new… so it needs to be inspired and not a regurgitation of many books that have already been published. A number of books deal with stereotypes and tropes in a tongue-in-cheek way, completely aware of these devices, and that can be fun. Others submerge themselves into the genre but include a twist or great dialogue, which usually fit into the guilty pleasure category. But cookie-cutter writing is about as palatable as eating a brown paper bag.

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Trigger warnings Pic 15 by Casey CarlisleThis one is hard to judge until you’ve already made it a ways into your novel, but having protagonists constantly making silly decisions – just to fit into the plot are a sure fire way to have me throwing the book across the room. Nothing worse than being aware of the authors guiding hand – or having a delusional main character that can’t think for themselves. Some may find it endearing or even cute, I feel like I want to push them in front of a bus.

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Trigger warnings Pic 16 by Casey CarlisleYou can usually gauge this from the blurb, or by reading a few pages and a light skim. I’ve read some books that have great writing, but the whole novel ended up being a number of scenes attached together through a flimsy line of narrative. I need a discernible beginning, middle and end. I need to know what the protagonist is risking for the pay-off at the end of the novel – and a well written climax! There is a fine line between a great concept and fitting it into a story format…

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Trigger warnings Pic 17 by Casey Carlisle– they are a selling point! If you don’t go to the trouble of designing an attractive cover I’m going to think you don’t value your writing, and therefore, skip your title in favour of another. Also covers with models in a half-naked display are a big turn off, I’m going to think your book is one big naked sex romp… see first point above. Plus who wants to be on the tram flashing about sexy body parts on the cover – people will think you’re a sex fiend! Some other book covers look like they’ve been put together by a fifth grader with ‘Paint.’ With so many easy to use tools available, PhotoShop, and a bit of imagination there is no excuse not to have an attractive cover that fits to your genre and target audience. You spent a lot of time writing a book, so take some time to get the cover right. There are so many cover artists for hire out there too. When I see stock photos and crappy covers now, I take it as a personal insult. Boo to you!

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Trigger warnings Pic 18 by Casey CarlisleIf a character is living in their head all the time in ponderance, it often comes across as boring or whiny. It’s also a bit of a case of telling instead of showing. I like characters who act on their convictions and interpret them through the scene. Long lamentations also bog down the pacing of the novel – and continual navel gazing is not an attractive quality. I come across this from time to time, protagonists getting on their soapbox, all hidden in the stream of consciousness of their mind. All I can say is they probably look like those first person video game characters when they glitch and continually run into a wall. No fun for anyone.

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Trigger warnings Pic 19 by Casey CarlisleIf you are going to go to the point of describing facts, objects, or scenarios in your story, make sure you’ve researched them thoroughly – I’ve read too many novels where the scene is so unrealistic that it has pulled me from the narrative…. Ultimately leaving me with the thought that the author couldn’t be bothered taking the time to present a realistic story. Insulting. Sheesh, Google it, crack a reference book, it’s not that hard.

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There are many more, but these have been the generally issues over the past year of reading. And I think I’ve ranted on long enough. But it is all in fun, and my personal preferences. It is still a great accomplishment to actually publish a novel so I commend anyone who has spilled out half their brain to create a world on paper…

Happy reading.

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© Casey Carlisle 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Reading and purchasing that bargain

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No review copies here – just an honest bibliophile!

I post a lot of reviews, but all of the books I read, I’ve purchased myself with hard earned cash. I get no kick-backs from my reviews. So I value my dollar, buy books only that I am genuinely interested in reading. And hunt around for great prices.

There are some authors that are an automatic buy, and titles that I am excited about and will pre-order online. Most of the time there will be a better price after their release, but with my over-enthusiasm, I generally don’t care so much about the increased price point because I want it as soon as possible.

I find cheap books from local book stores having sales – I can get lost for hours perusing their sale racks in search of a book on my wishlist… and I never come away empty handed. Plus, I get the books cheaper than I would have been able to source online… great things mobile phones these days, check to see if there is a cheaper price elsewhere before you head to the register.. You can even go to the sales staff and show them the cheaper price, and most of the time they will match it.

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The majority of the time, I have my wishlist – a number of books that I want to purchase, and I’ll jump on my computer and pull up some of the major websites to do a price comparison. Amazon, Book Depository, Fishpond, Booktopia, and the major book retailers like Dymocks etc. It’s important to convert the prices to your native currency – as in Australia book buying is expensive! Check the shipping costs too. 8 out of 10 times I find the Book Depository the best value for money. Occasionally Amazon gives it a run for its money. Sometimes a book will only be available on a certain site, and not on the others. Australian authors are generally cheaper from Booktopia (an Australian-based site) but still check. I’ve gotten a bargain from other distributors occasionally.

Then sites will run a special – free shipping, half-price, or discounted books. So be vigilant, look around and you can always pick up a bargain.

Books online

I say this because I like to have fresh, new copies of novels that I like adorning my shelves. My sister likes to collect second-hand copies and rarely spends more than a dollar for a book. She is also a massive e-book reader. Admittedly I only read e-books if I can’t find it in a physical format, if I am travelling, or if the book is more than 500 pages. Only because my reader likes to reorient the screen on me when I move, or runs out of battery at the worst possible time… for me, nothing beats good old paper!

For authors and books that I’m not sure about, I’ll often buy in e-book first, generally because the titles are less than half the price of their printed counterparts. So mix it up, check what’s available in your area.

I’d join a library and borrow books from there, except I live in a rural area and the closest decent library is over an hour and a half drive away, so I’d waste a day just for a visit.

Another way I get to read great books on the cheap is book-swapping with my friends and family. I’m lucky enough to have a large group of readers, and we like to pass around our favourites. It has let me discover new genres and titles that I would have overlooked before.

Buying and reading literature has never been more accessible, and I’m just a kid in a candy store with eyes bigger than her belly!

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© Casey Carlisle 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Casey Carlisle with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Break-ups – Real vs. Fictional Boyfriends

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How do the ex’s stack up to some of the fictional ex’s….

I haven’t had a lot of relationships in my life, but those I have experienced, fall into three categories when it comes to describing their end…

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Break-ups Fictional v Real Boyfriends Pic 02 by Casey CarlisleWhen the guy somehow, magically disappears from the face of the earth. He’ll stand you up, refuse to call, text, or email for weeks with no explanation. One moment you’re happy and thinking of what to do on your next adventure, and the next…
*crickets!*

Then you’ll get a visit or phone call after you’ve been worried he’s been abducted by aliens, or died in a car crash. And he just says that he’s met someone else, or got back with his old girlfriend… wtf? There are never any warning signs. Just a disappearing act and a lame goodbye.

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This guy will also give you no warning of your impending break up. In fact, one night he’ll take you out on an amazing date. Great restaurant and food, visit your favourite hang-out, shower you with compliments. And at the end of the night when you think he is the most wonderful boyfriend ever he says he want to break up. Then proceeds to give you a long list of everything he thinks is wrong with you.

Can. Feel. Anger. Rising.

Break-ups Fictional v Real Boyfriends Pic 07 by Casey Carlisle

In short, it’s the guy who dumps you over text. Then immediately blocks all forms of communication (and social media) afterwards. Again. Like a slap in the face with some smelly week-old cold fish.

All done. Period.

The one thing in common all these guys have is that they never spoke about being unhappy in the relationship. They made up their minds to end it before speaking (or texting) the words. They didn’t want to work things out, or start a dialogue. Just bam. Sorry babe it’s over.

Break-ups Fictional v Real Boyfriends Pic 03 by Casey Carlisle

Maybe it says that I’ve only dated guys who are afraid to talk to me? Immature guys; guys who don’t want a partner to laugh, love, and work through the hard times with – but are also some imaginary picture-perfect woman that swoons and agrees with everything they say (does that sound bitter?)

Some of the breakups in books have followed the same pattern as above, especially in YA. But at least you get some answers and closure in a novel. Real life – so sad, go suck an egg.

Mostly, though the fictional break ups are tension-filled, messy and executed in dramatic flair, I don’t think I’d ever want to experience anything like that in real life. I’d be ruined or comedown with PTSD. But at least the characters try. There’s a sharing of feelings, some misunderstandings, stubborn attitudes most of the time. And then at the end of it, the main character gets to walk away all the better for the experience to some bright glowing future…

Now I know why I read so much. The break ups are far more satisfying and there is always some other prospect on the horizon.

But most stories are about people getting together. Maybe one day I’ll experience a relationship that is worthy of a story, and I can finally say I’ve put all the ghosts, event planners, and lazy men behind me. In the meantime, I’ll continue to live precariously through my fictions boyfriends.

Happy (swoony) reading 😉

Break-ups Fictional v Real Boyfriends Pic 04 by Casey Carlisle

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